13 Comments
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Ellie Elwine's avatar

Really enjoyed this, pulled me in right from the get go! Should've known Traitors Landing would not be a place for a happy ending!

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John Wheatley's avatar

Indeed! You'd think an astrologer would choose a more well-omened place to seek her fortune, but clearly you just can't get the scryers these days.

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Luis Carranza's avatar

I mean, the "dumb as a rock" made it out alive

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Lindsey L.C. Crow's avatar

Isn't that how it tends to go, though? Smart people outsmart themselves to the point they make the most obvious, basic mistakes that those of average or less-than intelligence notice clearly.

Some call it street smarts and book smarts, but ultimately the better ending comes for one of those categories far more than the other!

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Luis Carranza's avatar

Or perhaps the man was only pretending to be dumb as a rock and loyal as a dog...

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Lindsey L.C. Crow's avatar

The beauty of it is we can’t actually know, but we can choose if we prefer one over the other ;)

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Eisen's avatar

Nice. But when that student was first mentioned I knew that he was going to be more than she thought he was ;)

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John Wheatley's avatar

Very genre-savvy of you!

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Ellie Elwine's avatar

Haha, I'm impressed! I obviously wasn't paying enough attention, he had me totally fooled!

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Revachol Route Zer0's avatar

I love the imbiguety of how the ending can be perceived.

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Lindsey L.C. Crow's avatar

From the very start, lovely alliteration, I quite adore it!!! I didn't expect to hear nice chunks of alliterating later on, as I assumed it was merely for the introduction, but was pleasantly surprised!

I quite like a lot of the visuals and conceptualizations in this piece especially. "The night sky glowed like a riotous ocean of stars" is absolutely charming in my mind, though it could just be my own sort of tastes with these things too. And tying in the various factors from scholarly excursions to astrology gone awry and so on, it all works rather well I would say.

Well structured too, of course, with the reveal at the end being perfect and quite satisfying.

I have three thoughts regarding the outro music:

1. Your voice was drowned out by it while also distracting from the music. Perhaps a better volume balance could be struck next time?

2. Where can one find your compositions?

3. By what means do you compose? A while ago I had dabbled with a free program that I am suddenly blanking on the name of.... But I am curious what options are about and what one who has composed beyond handwriting on scrap papers throughout one's teen years should seek or avoid or know when returning to this former passion.

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Revachol Route Zer0's avatar

P.S. I would have subscribed if Substack allowed payments through Qiwi or just non-swift aligned cards, of which my understanding is that they don't

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Luis Carranza's avatar

So, whst meant the red glram of Mars in conjunction with Saturn?

Was the boy a traitor and he lied when he referred to himself as loyal? Or his dumbness was the reason he made it out alive (and the rest died from some magical curse)?

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